Grieving a reptile is real grief
Cornell University's College of Veterinary Medicine puts it simply: grief is a natural reaction to the loss of a pet, regardless of their age, size or species. There is no right way to do this, and no timetable.
If you would like to talk to someone, Cornell runs a Pet Loss Support Hotline answered by veterinary student volunteers trained by professional grief counselors, at 607-218-7457. Its hours change through the year, so call to check them.
Sources: Cornell University College of Veterinary Medicine, Pet Loss Support
Ideas you can make
Cornell's advice is that there is no right or wrong way to honor a pet's life. These are ideas, not a checklist.
- A painted or engraved stone in the place they loved: the garden, or beside the window where the enclosure stood.
- A plant, a flower or a small tree, planted in their memory.
- A scrapbook or photo book: the first day home, the favorite basking pose, the moments that made you laugh.
- A letter to them, saying the things you didn't get to say.
- A keepsake from their home: a favorite basking rock, a hide, a shed. The CDC notes that reptiles can carry Salmonella even when they look healthy, so wash your hands after handling anything from the enclosure.
- A donation in their name, to a reptile rescue or any cause that feels right.
Sources: Cornell University College of Veterinary Medicine, Pet Loss Support; U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, "Reptiles and Amphibians"
Ideas to share
Ask the people who knew them to share a favorite memory. Hearing someone else's story about your pet can be a comfort.
You can also make a free memorial page on Petside. Go to your pets, open your pet's menu and choose "Memorial page". Add the date and a few words, and their profile becomes a memorial that friends and family can visit. People who are signed in can leave a tribute: a short message or memory, shown under yours. The page is quiet by design, with no ads and no suggestions. If your pet isn't on Petside yet, you can add them first.
The memory book you kept for them stays, too: every milestone and story you added is still there to read.
Sources: Cornell University College of Veterinary Medicine, Pet Loss Support
When a tortoise dies
A tortoise can be part of a family for a very long time. VCA's veterinarians note that sulcata tortoises may live 100 years. So the loss is often shared across generations: by the parent who got it as a child and the children who grew up alongside it.
- Gather everyone's photos and stories in one place. On a memorial page, each person can add their own tribute.
- Let children take part. Cornell suggests that drawing a picture, writing a story or sharing memories can help both the child and the family.
- Mark the corner of the garden where it grazed or dug, with a stone or a plant.
Sources: VCA Animal Hospitals, Gregory Rich, DVM, "Owning a Tortoise"; Cornell University College of Veterinary Medicine, Pet Loss Support
Rabbits, birds and other small pets
Everything on this page works for any animal: the stone, the plant, the scrapbook, the page friends can add to. For a rabbit, it might be a plant in the corner of the garden where they liked to sit. For a bird, a recording of their song or calls, if you have one, can become something to treasure.
Someday, if and when you're ready
Some people bring a new animal home soon after a loss. For others, years pass before it feels right. Cornell's view is that both are fine, and that bringing a new animal home soon should not come with guilt. If the time does come, a memory book is a gentle place to start the next story.
Sources: Cornell University College of Veterinary Medicine, Pet Loss Support
Questions people ask
- How can I remember my bearded dragon?
- Anything that feels right to you: a painted stone or a plant in a place they loved, a scrapbook of photos, a letter to them, a keepsake from their enclosure, or a memorial page friends and family can add memories to. On Petside, that page is free.
- Is it normal to grieve a reptile this much?
- Yes. Cornell University's College of Veterinary Medicine says grief is a natural reaction to the loss of a pet, regardless of their age, size or species.
- Can I make an online memorial for a reptile for free?
- Yes. On Petside any pet's profile can become a memorial page, with a date and a note from you, and friends and family who are signed in can leave tributes. It costs nothing.
- How do I remember a tortoise that belonged to the whole family?
- Bring everyone's stories together. Collect photos from each generation, let children draw or write something, and mark the spot in the garden it loved. A memorial page lets each person add their own tribute.
This guide is general information, not veterinary advice. Every pet is different: if you are worried about your animal's health, talk to a veterinarian who treats that species.